Join Me
by Mega-Melfina
Summary: One-shot, songfic. Squall/Seifer. Deathfic, be warned! Updated: 10/14/09: a little more added as requested by reviews!


Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII, and that includes Squall and Seifer and anything else. I also don't own the song, which is Join Me, by HIM. I own nothing, as a matter of fact.

He sat in on the white beach, choppy chocolate-colored locks blowing back in the salty wind. His eyes reflected nothing as he gazed into the dark depths of the ocean, watching the tide roll in. Moonlight gently reflected off the water, shimmering beautifully. He tucked his knees to his chest, and wrapped his arms around them thoughtfully, resting his head on his knees. His leather pants felt smooth beneath his pale, soft skin. He could feel the wind tousle his hair gently, caressingly. His senses seemed heightened in the salty ocean air.

_We are so young,_

_Our lives have just begun_

_But already we're considering_

_Escape from this world_

He let his hand slowly move away from his knees to touch Lionheart, his beloved gunblade, lying next to him in the sand. The weight of it made a slight indent in the sand. The metal was cold, but comforting against the skin of his hand. The gunblade glinted, almost glowed, in the intense moonlight coming from above. He looked at it, gray-blue eyes beginning to reveal some emotion. He could see his reflection, wavy in the polished blade. He looked haggard, weary, depleted. Gently, he lifted Lionheart to cradle it in his hands near his chest. Its heavy weight was a comfort: more comforting then the weight of a child or a friend. The metal chilled his skin through his t-shirt, but it was a welcome cold.

_And we've waited for so long_

_For this moment to come_

_We're so anxious to be together_

_Together in death_

Squall laid himself back on the sand carefully, still holding his beloved gunblade close to his chest, feeling the sand conform to his body. Looking into the stars above, he couldn't help but think about his one true friend…his one true lover. The only person whose weight he preferred to Lionheart. The one person who could look into Squall's eyes and see something. Gazing up, he allowed his mind to wander, allowed himself to remember a painful past that he tried to push away.

_Squall staggered back to his room after a long and boring meeting with Quistis, Xu, and other important personnel. He hated his new job as Commander. He wasn't meant for desk work, paperwork, and directing people. Squall missed training, missed using his beautiful Lionheart, missed the action of being a SeeD. He missed the changes that came with the title of SeeD, the variety of jobs and duties. He wished he could give it all up, give up his new title and life. There was only one thing he wanted, one person he wanted to be with...Seifer Almasy. They could spend all day alone, kissing, holding each other…and Squall would never have to worry about people saying things behind their backs, or worse, to his lover's face. Squall could go back to a job he liked, and the two of them could live in peace. _

_Thinking about a future he desperatly sought, he hurried to his quarters. With the title of Commander came a full suite of rooms, including a bathroom, kitchen, and private living area. Anxious to see his beloved, he punched in the keycode and rushed in. He couldn't wait to be back in his arms, to hold him, to forget about the stress of his day. Smiling to himself, he removed his boots at the door._

_He made his way into the apartment's bedroom in his socks, noticing the shut bathroom door. He paused, and his lips when from a smile into a frown. _

_Seifer had been having trouble being accepted again at Garden. It was a surprise that people were angry, but Squall thought by this point, almost a year later, people would be forgiving. It had been publicly announced that Seifer was mind-controlled, and he had no control of his actions. It was obvious to people who knew Seifer: Quistis, Rinoa, Selphie, Zell, and the rest of the gang, but those who didn't know him were wary. _

_People who blamed him for the death of their families in the war had been confronting him since the end of the war. People on the street called him a murderer and spit at him. They threatened to kill him, and told him to take his own life, since he had already taken so many. Although the old Seifer was strong and unfazed, Seifer since the war was meek and self-loathing. Squall knew he blamed himself for his actions during the Sorceress War, and took the accusations and threats personally. Squall tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, he was a new person now and that he loved him more then anything, or anyone. But each confrontation was like a blow to Seifer's soul. Squall watched helplessly as Seifer became more and more crushed by the words of the world._

_Squall remembered a few months ago, when Seifer had met a man coming out of the grocery store in Balamb. Squall had asked him to go shopping for food, hoping Seifer would come out of his shell a little. Squall regretted it more then anything now. The man saw him and went berserk, accusing him of murdering his only daughter, saying he killed her in cold blood. The man couldn't understand how Seifer could live at Garden, be accepted by people, and be allowed live after what he did in the war. Seifer just stood there with groceries in hand as the man ran at him, knocking him to the ground, and began kicking and hitting him relentlessly. Seifer made no move to escape, made no effort to protect himself against the vicious blows. The man broke seven of his ribs, gave him a concussion, and broke his clavicle before Zell showed up and called the police, giving the man a beating of his own before they arrived. Seifer spent days in the infirmary, and refused to speak to anyone, including Squall. When Squall asked him why he allowed the beating to go on, he just shrugged._

_Squall felt so selfish that day. If he hadn't asked Seifer to go...if he had just let Seifer stay alone..._

_Squall shook his head. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of that. He should be more worried with helping Seifer now, trying to get his lover to become the strong, self-confident, egotisical blockhead he fell for. The timid, quiet, and depressed Seifer scared him. _

_"Seifer?" Squall called out carefully, his voice worried. He tapped on the door gently. He could hear the shower running, the sound muffled. Seifer usually just left the door open. He wasn't a modest man, in fact, usually, he was quite the opposite. In front of Squall, Seifer would flaunt everything. They had nothing to hide from each other. They usually showered together in the mornings. _

_In fact, they had already showered before Squall's meeting. A sense of dread rose up in Squall's chest. He forced it down, swallowing a lump. Why was he getting so emotional? Why did he feel so scared?_

_"Are you in there…?" He called again, willing his mouth to move. He tried the knob again, hoping it was really open. Still locked, he quickly entered in the keycode and the door slid open, steam clouding Squall's vision for a moment as it escaped the hot confines of the bathroom and dispersed around the house. The room was unbearably humid. Condensation dripped off the walls and mirror._

_He stepped in, feeling his socks become wet from the moist floor. A hunched shadow lay in the bathtub. Droplets of something dark clung to the inside of the curtain, slowly leaving a trail downward. Squall's breath caught in his throat as he watched the heavy droplets move against the plastic._

_"Seifer?" He ripped the curtain open unceremoniously, praying he would see Seifer playing some sort of trick on him again. Teasing him again. Snickering at Squall for being so gullible, so easily worried. Anything but what he feared. His prayers were unanswered._

_The normally off-white tiled shower was colored crimson. As the bathroom light flooded the dark shower, Squall could see everything. Diluted blood ran down the drain quickly, in long tendrils, spiraling away into blackness. Thick blood splattered the tiled walls, slowly dripping down. Seifer was curled into himself at the bottom of the tub, harsh sprays of water hitting his pallid, gray skin. Squall could hear the sickening sound it made against his lifeless body. _

_He would always remember that horrible sound._

_Seifer's eyelids were closed halfway, eyes beneath glassy and unyielding. Water was beaded on his light eyelashes in thick droplets. His thin lips were colored pale blue and slightly opened. No breath escaped them._

_"Seifer! No!" Squall dashed into the bathroom, grabbing Seifer from underneath the scalding water. His body was cold regardless. Squall nearly lost his grip on him as he saw the mutilation of his wrist, cut cleanly in the shape of a cross. Blood trickled out slowly, the bleeding coming to an end. Seifer's head lolled in his lap, wet blonde hair spilling over Squall's bare arm. He noticed Hyperion below Seifer, dulled with blood and water. Its normal shine was gone, along with its owner. Squall let out a strangled sob, pulling Seifer's naked body to his chest carefully. Squall knew he should check his pulse, administer mouth-to-mouth, do something. But in his heart, he knew Seifer was already gone. Tears started to flow as he cradled the dead body of his lover against his chest. At that moment he hated Garden for cruelly picking on Seifer, he hated the world for being so unforgiving, but most of all he hated himself, for being absent when Seifer needed him the most. For being so selfish that he didn't notice how much Seifer was hurting. He clutched Seifer's head to his chest and wailed._

That was all he could remember. Apparently students had heard him screaming and ran for Quistis, who found him still gripping Seifer. She said he was in the infirmary for quite some time, but he couldn't remember any of it. It didn't matter now. He didn't care what happened then, and he didn't care what happened now. What mattered was that Seifer was no longer here, but he was. And they had promised to stay together, forever. Squall wasn't one to break promises.

_This world is a cruel place_

_And we're here only to lose_

_So before life tears us apart let_

_Death bless me with you_

He felt nothing as he pulled Lionheart away from his chest to slice over his wrist carefully, horizontally. The blade easily sliced through his pale skin. Squall sharpened it regularly, keeping it in pristine condition. There was no reason it should hurt; Lionheart was deadly sharp. There was still no resistance when he repeated the action, vertically. Struggling, he managed to grip Lionheart with his bloody, weakened hand enough to slice the other wrist. He let Lionheart drop softly into the sand, the gray blade covered in warm blood. Squall quickly lost feeling in his hands, and blood poured through his fingers, staining the sand below him. It hurt less then he imagined it would. He felt as thought he was floating above his body, looking down at his hands from somewhere else. Silently, Squall turned his head away from his pulsing blood flowing from his wrists and stared into the stars, his vision beginning to waver. The stars danced before his eyes, twinkling above him silently.

He watched them begin to fade out, one by one, as his body grew unbearably cold.

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_(Baby, join me in death)_

_Won't you die_

_(Baby, join me in death)_

_Won't you die tonight for love_

_(Baby, join me in death)_

_Join me in death_

"You coming or what?" Squall started, opening his eyes quickly in search of the voice. Surprisingly, his vision was now clear and any pain was gone. His body felt warm and comfortable, light and clean. He looked down and saw his pale wrists, unmarred in the moonlight. A slight, wonderfully warm breeze blew through his hair softly. He looked up. He was surprised to see a pair of jade eyes looking back at him, twinkling with glee. Squall felt a smile grace his lips as he lifted himself up away from his body collapsed in the sand. Gently, he felt a strong, callused hand grasp his, entwining their fingers together, and he walked forward, together with his only love, without a single look back.

A/N: Sad, I know…sniffk But please review anyway! I mean, you made it this far…and reviews make my day! =3


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